Review: Death

Death by Laura Thalassa
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

There's a reason I mainly stick to Goodreads when it comes to reviews and I keep my mouth shut on Reddit and/or Facebook groups - it's because I don't want to post a negative opinion of a book and be accused of book shaming. They're NOT the same thing, but humans, in their infinite wisdom and sensitivity, often conflate the two, because god forbid someone not like something and actually say so.

I did not like this book. I did not think it was a good book. I did not like any of the books in this series and in fact did not think any of them were good. That does not mean I think Laura Thalassa is a horrible person or that anyone who likes these books is horrible.

Now that that's out of the way....Yah, I really hated this book. I hated this series. I do not think my hate would be nearly at the level it is if I didn't enjoy Laura Thalassa's Bargainer series as much as I did (it's phenomenal, and a much more satisfying depiction of a dark Fae romance...and Desmond beats Rhys and his pseudo-feminism any day of the week) I wouldn't have been so disappointed in this book and the series as a whole.

Where the Bargainer series was engaging, with well fleshed out characters, and engaging relationships and plots, the Four Horseman is like all concept and idea and literally nothing else. Nothing. The characters are boring. The relationships are boring. The plot is boring, and who ever thought the apocalypse would be boring? I mean, the world is ending, and there's so much you can do with that, but I'm supposed to care only about these two shmucks that barely know each other yet somehow are sooooo in love?

Death was 519 pages (!!!) and nothing happened. Nothing. They meet, people die, they kill each other a few times, there's a random kidnapping by some random desert bandits that lasts maybe two paragraphs before resolution, she finds a baby, and then there's the requisite end-of-series fight, and that's kind of it.

Oh yeah, and there's lots of sex, which normally I enjoy (and which in the Bargainer series was top-shelf) but here it's just like lots of talk about her sore pussy because THEY BANG SO MUCH. And oh yeah, lots of cheese plates prepared by magical skeleton servants. I shit you not.

The strongest, most cogent thought I have about this series, the one overarching opinion I have on the whole thing, is that it's an amazing concept poorly executed. It pains me so much to say this, but I got the very strong impression that Thalassa was so damned determined to write this series (because let's be honest, the concept is fucking cool) but she never thought too much about what she actually wanted to happen. It's just fluff (cheese plates!) and fucking, and not much else. I'm not book shaming when I say that I feel like this series was just lazily written, because it's true.

I am glad that this book is over. I think I deserve an award for finishing it. These 519 pages were a longer slog than the half-marathon I ran that time. I am glad that this series is over (so I don't feel obligated to read any others), and despite how much I disliked it, I am still looking forward to reading the rest of Thalassa's past (and future) catalog, because with a gem like the Bargainer under her belt, I know it can't be all bad.

I would not recommend this book, unless a story of a mindless journey punctuated by random bouts of sex is your thang. And if it is, no shame, and you do you, and I'm so happy you enjoyed it because feeling like you wasted your time on something is never a fun feeling.

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