Book Boyfriends

 I've been an avid reader for as long as I can remember.  My earliest memories of reading were of me working my way through a tiny book on the Smurfs when I was a kid.  My earliest memory of buying books was begging my Dad to let me get a box set of Sweet Valley High Books at a Barnes and Noble.  All throughout grade school I remember looking forward to the Scholastic Book Sales and those newsprint flyers where we'd get to circle whatever we wanted and it would be delivered to your classroom weeks later (those days always felt like Christmas).

What I'm trying to emphasize is that books have played such an important role in my life for a long time....the better part of my years, long enough for me to not really be able to remember a time where I didn't have a book in my hands.  They're a crutch for me, a way to lose myself, a way to find myself, who I thought I could be, and who I wished I was.  I remember important events in my life and the books I was reading at the time - struggling while I adjusted to a new school in a new state (Interview with the Vampire); sleeping on my grandma's couch after my parents split and we didn't have a home for almost a year (Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone); sitting at my father's bedside after he suffered a stroke, waiting for him to wake up and realize who I was again. (A Court of Silver Flames).  He didn't, by the way.  He passed away on March 8th, 2021, and I'll never forget the book I stopped reading when he first suffered that stroke and I visited him in the hospital every single day for a month and reading just didn't seem that important anymore (Wolf Gone Wild, and it was crap).

I keep a little bit of all of those books with me, even the bad ones, and I consider the characters in my favorites my friends, and people I like to visit with again, every now and then.

So now that you have a little bit of an idea as to just how big a role books have played in my life, I thought it would be interesting to not just go through a list of favorite books and characters, but my favorite book boyfriends (or husbands, as it were).  I'm not ashamed to admit that I tend towards self-inserting when I read books (part of that whole imaginary life and exploring unseen worlds and living vicariously thing with them), so I like to read stories about characters that are either like me, characters that I'd like to be with, or maybe both.  Without further ado, my top book boyfriends:

The Brat Prince

• Lestat de Lioncourt - Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles

• You never ever forget your first.  I remember so clearly feeling like an out of place, misanthropic high-schooler (unique, I know), and anxiety manifested even earlier than that for me, but reading about Lestat and his dilligaf attitude and wishing I could be that free.  I felt powerless, and he made me feel like I could be powerful.  He was everything I wasn't and wished I was.

The Cruel Prince

• Cardan Greenbriar - Holly Black's Folk of the Air series
• I'm a sucker for an asshole with a heart of gold, apparently.  At this point, these books are way out of my age range, but Holly Black is like stupid talented, and I read them with the eye of the 16 year old that I once was, and that I still fill like on the inside to a certain extent.  I would have gone insane over Cardan at that age, and understand full well the experience of being bullied by a guy that might have actually liked you more than he let on.  He's just snarky, broody, damaged, broken, totally devoted to Jude, and I just want to make him happy forever.  The tail is just a bonus.

The Fresh Prince of Coldtown

• Gavriel - Holly Black's Coldest Girl in Coldtown
• I'm such a Holly Black fangirl that it gets embarrassing sometimes, but she writes the best characters.  This book is a one-off that harkens back to Anne Rice's vamps, but Gavriel is probably a little more like Louis than Lestat (at least with regard to the first book in that series).  He's like the best of both worlds - broody and intense, but with a distinct, vibrant feel to him.  He's pretty alive for a dead guy, is what I'm trying to say.  Tana is one lucky girl, and if I hadn't already spent my high school years wishing I was a vampire, I definitely would have if I had the chance to spend eternity with a guy like Gavriel....even if he was insane.  Bonus - he was known as the Thorn of Istra....HOTTTTT.

The Cruel-but-secretly-sweet Prince

• Joshua Templeman - Sally Thorne's The Hating Game
• I'm seeing that I kind of have a trend of grumps that are secretly sunshiney lovemuffins here.  Josh is like king of the grumpy lovemuffins - He's sharp, witty, snarky, tall, and introverted.  A man after my own heart.  Sally's book is so clever and smart, and the banter is absolutely top-notch.  I probably would let Josh step on my face and thank him for it.

The Prince of Hell.  No, really.

• Wrath - Kerri Maniscalco's Kingdom of the Wicked
• This book has a special place in my heart due mostly to it's Sicilian setting and Italian girl protagonist (she's thicker, and not a model of Anglican beauty), but Wrath sure helps.  First, he looks like that.  Second, who doesn't love an enemies-to-lovers story?  Relationships built on hate are awesome because you get a sense that they come to appreciate each other for more than what's on the outside, as they come to know to each other better.  He's like Rhysand, but hotter, and not nearly as squickily progressive.  He doesn't blow smoke up Emilia's ass at every turn (like Rhys does) but he empowers Emilia just the same. Haughty, nasty, and totally masculine, with a soft side that isn't anywhere near as simpering as you know who.  He's a jerk and he owns it (he is a demon, after all).

Not Ruhn

• Teddy Prescott - Sally Thorne's Second First Impressions
• First, someone needs to remedy the extreme lack of Teddy Prescott fanart (as in there is literally nothing) but I used this pic of Ruhn because that's what was in my head when I read Teddy, minus the sword.  Second, Teddy is my literal dream man (tattoos, muscles, long, beautiful black hair) and he loves Ruthie just as she.  He thinks her Golden Girl cosplaying self is sublime, and holy hell if a man loving you exactly as you are and not making you feel like you have to change (that is also tattooed, does tattoos, and has amazing hair) isn't what my secret self has spent her literal entire life wishing for, then I don't know what to tell you.  He's perfect, the book is perfect.  Read it, please.

The Bastard of the Barrel

• Kaz Brekker - Leigh Bardugo's Grishaverse 
• Kaz is my fantasy high school boyfriend.  I was a goody goody, and wished the bad guys would give me a second glance.  They never did, but I think I may have had a shot with Kaz.  He's smart (an evil fucking genius), self-assured (forget plan B, he's got like plan B-Z), and ruthless, and I think we would have balanced each other nicely.  Plus he's got a soft spot for nice girls, and he's damaged goods, so I could help heal him without having to worry about him going to fast for my fragile teenage sensibilities.  I think we would have had a great time plotting how to get revenge on our enemies, and adolescent me would have been secretly thinking up ways to get those dirty hands clean....but not too clean, because we want him to keep his edge.  Plus he has a wicked sense of style.  10/10 would love.

There's probably a ton I left off so I'm sure I'll do a part 2 of this at some point.  Feel free to drop me a line with recommendations.

Also, regarding my ACOTAR re-reads, I'm probably going to wind up doing a massive annotation dump when I'm done with the audiobook, for a few reasons - I'm limited by the publisher as to the size/frequency of note exports I can do in Kindle, and it's just easier to have it all in one place.  I'm having an insane amount of fun basically MST3K'ing these books and take a deeper look, so I plan on doing them all at some point.  I'm determined to prove my boy Tamlin's case, not that he's not a jerk, but that Rhys is not only also a jerk, but probably worse.