Poor poor Tamlin.
It really is interesting how you remember things completely differently than you think you do sometimes. I came in to this re-read fully expecting to find gobs of evidence re: how Tamlin really is the crazy ex-boyfriend we're obviously supposed to believe he is, but it's just not there. And technically speaking I'm not even to the really good stuff yet (Feyre's return to the Spring Court and the High Lord meeting).
Instead what I'm finding is a very pointed deconstruction of Tamlin as a decent character and the object of Feyre's affection. Like I can practically picture SJM sitting there with a white board and a pointer indicating one by one every reason why Rhys is the paragon of male perfection all men should aspire to and all women should want. Therefore, I'm making it my goal in life to construct my very own chart, as it were, to show how her own text, and her own words even, are running completely contrary to what she so obviously wants us to believe (Tamlin Bad, Rhys good).
Also, at this point you really start to see that Feyre is really good at coming to realizations about things concerning Tamlin and doing absolutely nothing about it, which makes what she does later on especially shitty.
And obviously I say all of the above knowing full well that this is SJM's creation, and she has the final word on it all, but my dissection of her text has less to do with proving a creator wrong about their own creation and everything to do with saying she did a crap job explaining it all away.
At this point in the story we're still not sure that Feyre is never going back to the Spring Court or how she feels about Tamlin. Knowing what we do know, however, makes a lot of her thoughts and words take on a whole new perspective. I think the biggest thing we learn about Feyre at this point is that she's attracted to power, she might say how she doesn't want to be coddled or protected or that she can do it herself, but it's obvious she gets her rocks off from seeing overly powerful men quite literally kneel before her.
Maybe that's what Tamlin's problem was; he was good and powerful enough for frail, mortal Feyre, but high fae Feyre needs someone even better (so naturally she's go for the most powerful high lord in a century....can't wait til we start hearing that every other fucking sentence). I mean for fuck's sake, Rhys puts her in a fucking crown before going to see her family (in the goddamn house they wouldn't even have if it wasn't for Tamlin, tyvm), and she doesn't even spare a thought for who the hell is she to have this dude putting her in a goddamn crown.
Sidenote: I've found that since Kindle and Audible integration make it so easy, it would be better to post my notes and highlights direct from the book here, so that way it's not just word vomit and musings here - I'm backing up with cold, hard quotes.
Chapter 15 > Page 155 · Location 2236
But Rhys said, “I’m thinking that I spent fifty years locked Under the Mountain, and I’d sometimes let myself dream of this place, but I never expected to see it again. I’m thinking that I wish I had been the one who slaughtered her. I’m thinking that if war comes, it might be a long while yet before I get to have a night like this.”
So why didn't you slaughter her? You had the opportunity, but you said yourself you were just waiting for the curse to be broken so Tamlin could rip her throat out? Why give him the pleasure if you wanted it so much for yourself?
Chapter 15 > Page 156 · Location 2246
Ah, and there we have it. A rare moment of astuteness from Feyre. Not only does she admit that he showed her kindness and safety, but that she wanted to be protected, at least initially, and Tamlin has an inherently protective nature. I do think Tamlin wants to be that for someone, but the fact that Feyre couldn't be up front enough with him about everything she's finally admitting here (and yeah I know she left but she still has the option to go back or to at least communicate this to Tamlin in some way, but no, she literally says she's not talking about it, and she never does), but Feyre obviously doesn't realize (or does and doesn't care) about the damage that can do to someone, how leaving without explanation like that can hurt someone, especially someone who desperately wants someone to love. Never mind that she basically reduces her whole relationship with Tamlin to like some silly opportunistic crush, as if he is a literal placeholder until something better comes along (which he essentially is). He couldn't have broken that curse if he didn't love you, he told you he loved you and didn't expect anything in return, and even fucking let you go to his own goddamn detriment. Fuck you, Feyre.
“I’m thinking that I was a lonely, hopeless person, and I might have fallen in love with the first thing that showed me a hint of kindness and safety. And I’m thinking maybe he knew that—maybe not actively, but maybe he wanted to be that person for someone. And maybe that worked for who I was before. Maybe it doesn’t work for who—what I am now.”
Ah, and there we have it. A rare moment of astuteness from Feyre. Not only does she admit that he showed her kindness and safety, but that she wanted to be protected, at least initially, and Tamlin has an inherently protective nature. I do think Tamlin wants to be that for someone, but the fact that Feyre couldn't be up front enough with him about everything she's finally admitting here (and yeah I know she left but she still has the option to go back or to at least communicate this to Tamlin in some way, but no, she literally says she's not talking about it, and she never does), but Feyre obviously doesn't realize (or does and doesn't care) about the damage that can do to someone, how leaving without explanation like that can hurt someone, especially someone who desperately wants someone to love. Never mind that she basically reduces her whole relationship with Tamlin to like some silly opportunistic crush, as if he is a literal placeholder until something better comes along (which he essentially is). He couldn't have broken that curse if he didn't love you, he told you he loved you and didn't expect anything in return, and even fucking let you go to his own goddamn detriment. Fuck you, Feyre.
Chapter 19 > Page 211 · Location 3054
So Rhys didn't help Feyre learn to read out of the goodness of his heart? You mean he had ulterior motives that benefited him in multiple ways??? SO SHOCKED.
“The reading,” I said, sliding my feet into fleece-lined, thick-soled slippers. “That’s why you insisted on the lessons. So if your suspicions were true and I could harness the Book … I could actually read it—or any translation of whatever is inside.” A book that old might very well be written in an entirely different language. A different alphabet.
So Rhys didn't help Feyre learn to read out of the goodness of his heart? You mean he had ulterior motives that benefited him in multiple ways??? SO SHOCKED.
Chapter 19 > Page 211 · Location 3057
Chapter 19 > Page 212 · Location 3072
“Again,” he said, now striding for the dresser, “had you started to work with me, I would have told you why. I couldn’t risk discovery otherwise.” He paused with a hand on the knob. “You should have learned to read no matter what. But yes, when I told you it served my own purposes—it was because of this. Do you blame me for it?” “No,” I said, and meant it. “But I’d prefer to be notified of any future schemes.”
Lol - wants to be notified of future schemes. Lol. Wait til ACOSF, honey.
Rhys looked up, hands braced on my thighs. Bow, he’d once ordered Tamlin. And now here he was, on his knees before me. His eyes glinted as if he remembered it, too. Had that been a part of his game—that façade? Or had it been vengeance for the horrible blood feud between them?
First, Feyre recalls how Rhys debased Tamlin, and second, she fucking gets off
on it.
Chapter 19 > Page 213 · Location 3086
This is one of those quotes you see stans using all the time to be all swoony over Rhys, but looking at it in context it's basically Rhys admitting that he's using Feyre (because he definitely is). Never mind that he's literally sending Feyre into the lion's den with zero explanation about what the Weaver is, which literally has nothing to do with the fact that the ring she's pulling out of there will be her eventual engagement ring (barf). He could have said "help me get my ring" and been a little more explicit about how fucking dangerous the Weaver is.
“So I’m your huntress and thief?” His hands slid down to cup the backs of my knees as he said with a roguish grin, “You are my salvation, Feyre.”
This is one of those quotes you see stans using all the time to be all swoony over Rhys, but looking at it in context it's basically Rhys admitting that he's using Feyre (because he definitely is). Never mind that he's literally sending Feyre into the lion's den with zero explanation about what the Weaver is, which literally has nothing to do with the fact that the ring she's pulling out of there will be her eventual engagement ring (barf). He could have said "help me get my ring" and been a little more explicit about how fucking dangerous the Weaver is.
Chapter 20 > Page 215 · Location 3110
What's most interesting here is how Feyre immediately assumes that Rhys is getting her all worked up so she goes in to the Weaver's hut angry - not that he's just being a creepy perv and baiting her with sexual innuendo based on thoughts he's literally stealing out of her mind without her realizing it.
I made to jump off the stone, but he gripped my chin, the movement too fast to detect. His words were a lethal caress as he said, “Did you enjoy the sight of me kneeling before you?” I knew he could hear my heart as it ratcheted into a thunderous beat. I gave him a hateful little smirk, anyway, yanking my chin out of his touch and leaping off the stone. I might have aimed for his feet. And he might have shifted out of the way just enough to avoid it. “Isn’t that all you males are good for, anyway?” But the words were tight, near-breathless. His answering smile evoked silken sheets and jasmine-scented breezes at midnight. A dangerous line—one Rhys was forcing me to walk to keep me from thinking about what I was about to face, about what a wreck I was inside. Anger, this … flirtation, annoyance … He knew those were my crutches. What I was about to encounter, then, must be truly harrowing if he wanted me going in there mad—thinking about sex, about anything but the Weaver of the Wood.
What's most interesting here is how Feyre immediately assumes that Rhys is getting her all worked up so she goes in to the Weaver's hut angry - not that he's just being a creepy perv and baiting her with sexual innuendo based on thoughts he's literally stealing out of her mind without her realizing it.
Chapter 22 > Page 239 · Location 3464
You could take some of your own advice here, Feyre hun. Do you know anyone else that endured really bad trials and maybe needed someone to reach out to them? Hmmmmmmmmmm?
I rubbed the back of my bare neck. “I want them to hear your story. And know that there is a special strength … ” As I spoke I realized I needed to hear it, know it, too. “A special strength in enduring such dark trials and hardships … And still remaining warm, and kind. Still willing to trust—and reach out.”
You could take some of your own advice here, Feyre hun. Do you know anyone else that endured really bad trials and maybe needed someone to reach out to them? Hmmmmmmmmmm?
Chapter 22 > Page 241 · Location 3488
And again, a refusal to acknowledge what happened with Tamlin and total unwillingness to talk about it.
Below, ahead, behind, the vast, blue sea stretched. Above, fortresses of clouds plodded along, and to my left … A dark smudge on the horizon. Land. Spring Court land. I wondered if Tamlin was on the western sea border. He’d once hinted about trouble there. Could he sense me, sense us, now? I didn’t let myself think about it. Not as I felt the wall.
And again, a refusal to acknowledge what happened with Tamlin and total unwillingness to talk about it.
Chapter 23 > Page 249 · Location 3598
This right here is the worst thing about Feyre. She is fully fucking aware of the motivations behind Tamlin's actions, but never once does she make moves to really talk to him about it, before or after she left. Again, she acknowledges that she has to settle things, but only with herself.
“That lord built a wall to keep the Fae out. My High Lord wanted to keep me caged in.” “Why? He let you come back here all those months ago.” “To save me—protect me. And I think … I think what happened to him, to us, Under the Mountain broke him.” Perhaps more than it had broken me. “The drive to protect at all costs, even my own well-being … I think he wanted to stifle it, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t let go of it.” There was … there was much I still had to do, I realized. To settle things. Settle myself.
This right here is the worst thing about Feyre. She is fully fucking aware of the motivations behind Tamlin's actions, but never once does she make moves to really talk to him about it, before or after she left. Again, she acknowledges that she has to settle things, but only with herself.
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