I Love to Hate It: Romance Novel Tropes

 

I'm a latecomer to the romance genre, having discovered somewhat later in life than most women that I didn't hate reading "mushy" stuff.  My reticence was born mostly from shame, which is dumb, because in the grand pantheon of embarrassment, reading romance books is like the very bottom of the list.

Despite the late start, it didn't take me long to separate the bad from the good.  I'm sure I'll discuss the tropes/genres I love at some point, but I'm better at complaining than I am at opining on why I actually like something (without devolving to my prior pre-teen self), so here's a list of crap I hate:

1. Reverse Harem
• I totally understand the desire for women to want to have a bunch of <zoolander voice> really really really good-looking</zoolander voice> men fawning all over them, but I'll freely admit that I'm selfish, even if it's myself we're talking about sharing.
2. BBW/Plus Size
• I freely admit that I'm the sort of reader that likes to self-insert, so I gravitate mostly towards protagonists I can identify with, that are experiencing things similar to myself; it's a form of therapy, for sure.  I've also been all over the weight spectrum over the years, and having passed that point where my metabolism allowed me to eat off the Wendy's dollar menu (back when it actually was just a dollar for everything) every day, I've settled comfortably into what is actually the average size for American women, but is definitely heavier than what popular culture says is acceptable.  That said, you'd think I'd love books that show men fawning all over "plus-size" women, but largely (no pun intended) I don't.  I will say there's a fine line.  I've found a lot of plus-size romances venture too close to fetish territory, and the heroines often wind up being valued for individual parts as opposed to being a whole person (Olivia Dade, looking straight at you).  In mental fantasy land, I'd love to be objectified, but not to the point where I'm reduced only to a pair of breasts, or an ass, or whatever.
3. Fated Mates
• I plan on really going into this in detail in a separate post, but to keep it short and sweet, choice is hot, baby, and I want someone to consciously choose me, not suddenly decide they're in love after sniffing my armpits or something.  This has also seemed like the track authors take when they're too lazy to devote time to showing how relationships develop and grow and just want to jump straight into PIV.
4. Age Gap/Daddy Kink
• I'm speaking specifically to older man/younger woman here.  Do I even need to go over how American society only values women for as long as they retain the appearance of youth?  The plastic surgery industry wouldn't be what it is if if they didn't.  I am so bothered, as someone well past adolescence, by the idea that women can't be valued by their peers past a certain point.  There are also way too many overtones regarding control and skewed power dynamics, and women have been on the short end of that stick for pretty much forever, so I don't need it emphasized further in my recreational pursuits.
5. Virginity
• This is sort of a sub-set of age gap romances, but I despise this more for what it says again about power dynamics than anything else.  Women don't need to be taught, we don't need to be led, we don't need to be shown.  We're not dogs on leashes, and we're still worth desiring even when we take control of our own lives and pleasure and don't have to rely on you to show us what we like or how good certain things can feel - we're perfectly capable of finding that out on our own and then demonstrating it to you, thankyouverymuch.
6. Billionaire
• Again, this just reeks of laziness on an author's part.  Your narrative is going to be a lot less stressful if everything can be solved with money.  Believe me, I get the attraction of the concept of not having to worry about money and I love shopping as much as the next person, but I like to feel like I've earned what I have, in the sense that I can buy it my own damn self.  
7. Bully/Dark Romance
• I get that these aren't mutually exclusive but they do tend to overlap, so I'm lumping them together.  I consider Bully Romance the evil twin of Enemies to Lovers.  Conflict and sexual tension is a beautiful thing, and really helps to make the payoff of the eventual release of said tension really really worth it.  But why do we have to rely on being downright fucking cruel to create tension?  There's no attraction for me in being treated like shit by a guy, no matter how hot he might be or what his true motivations are.  This isn't fucking kindergarten, you can just tell me you like me instead of pulling my pigtails and tripping me.  I love couples that challenge each other mutually as opposed to getting off on literal oppression.
8. Size Difference (Big Dude, Teeny Gal)
• Women aren't little china dolls, ffs.  This is sort of a microcosm representation of how women have literally been kept small by more powerful men for millennia.  I get that people like what they like, but the way some romance books emphasize height difference in particular just speaks way too much to control issues without the benefit of choice to make me want to like it.  I get the idea, and very much like, of playing with power dynamics when you're actively choosing to do it, or are consciously aware of doing it.  The giant guy with the teeny girl plays into a couple of other things that just squick me out - fetishization, not being viewed as a whole person, unequal power dynamics that it's almost an automatic DNF for me when an author has to specifically point out that a woman's head only comes up to a guy's chest (whyyyyy?) and do not get me started on women actually worrying that a guy's big giant cock might not fit in her teeny lady vagina.