Review: Give the Dark My Love

Give the Dark My Love by Beth Revis
My rating: 2 of 5 stars



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Review: The Ballad Of Never After

The Ballad Of Never After by Stephanie Garber
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



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Like, Why Are You So Obsessed With Me?

 

I feel a need to address the elephant in the room.  For someone that hates the ACOTAR series as much as I do, I sure do talk about it a lot, don't I?  

I'm willing to admit that I'm somewhat hyper-focused on it, in a sense, but trust me, there's sound reasoning behind it.

First, love it or hate it, you can't deny that the books are a behemoth in the YA/Fantasy world, and publishing in general.  They're a phenomenon, for good or ill (mostly ill, but more on that later), so it's difficult not to judge other works in comparison.  Everyone wants to the next biggest thing, and right now these books are one of the biggest things.

Second, they were a gateway for me that led to other books I eventually wound up admiring and valuing more.  ACOMAF was probably the first book with smut I ever read, and it eventually led me to realize that hey I kind of like it so let me read more (I did, and let me tell you in hindsight the vaunted Chapter 55 is a joke).  It introduced me to the joys of Fae fantasy, and without it I would never had discovered The Folk of the Air books, which are straight up one of my favorites of all time now.

Review: Ink in the Blood

Ink in the Blood by Kim Smejkal
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



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Review: Fall of Angels

Fall of Angels by Kathryn Ann Kingsley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A review for all three books of the Halfway Between series.

This is the third complete series by Kathryn Kingsley I've read and it's safe to say at this point that I'm a fan.

Everything is present here that makes this a signature KK book, and thus a good read: clever dialogue, hilarious banter, engaging side characters, a crotch-tingling LI, and smut smut smut.

I'll admit that the latter has quickly become like my number one reason for reading her books, but definitely the only reason. Suffice it to say that if that's all I cared about I'd probably just watch porn. It's the added bonus of a great fucking story coupled with top-tier smut that makes Kathryn worth your time.

That said, I'm gonna shock you all and say that the smut here was NOT my favorite thing about this series. The story is stellar (all existential, meaning of life, origin of the universe and importance of religion and belief goodness) and while I certainly enjoyed the smut, it was secondary and the books would have been just as enjoyable without it.

Asmodeous is the standard KK dark hero, but of the three heroes I've encountered so far (Valroy, Simon, and Asmodeous) he's really the least dark of them all, which is kind of ironic given that he's a demon. He really isn't that bad at all when you get down to it, and unlike Simon and Valroy, Asmodeous's love of humanity extends beyond the singular object of his desire. He's definitely got a much more prominent moral compass.

My interest kind of inexplicably waned towards the end of the third volume, but in another unexpected twist I somehow actually became engaged by the Epilogue. Normally I hate epilogues in romance (oh, they got married and had a baby and lived happily ever after? Shocking), but for some reason this got to me. I'm thinking it's because of the epic nature of the story, and the "several years" later situation hits different when you're talking about immortals.

In any case, do treat yourself to a Kathryn Kingsley book or two....or eleven. They're on KU, so it will literally cost you nothing, and they're so goods they pay dividends pretty much immediately.

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When Great Books Make You Angry - Musings on a Revisitation of the Nevernight Trilogy by Jay Kristoff

Tric is too good for all of them.

Authors owe us as readers absolutely nothing.  No artist really owes their audience anything.  Creating art, I believe, is something that's done from an inherent need to create.  Putting it out there in the world and having people enjoy it is fulfilling, and it certainly makes relying on your art as a career a lot easier, but creating something popular doesn't preclude a subsequent responsibility to continually cater to the same group of people and to stop creating things that you like personally.

What I'm trying to say here is that an author doesn't owe their readers happy endings, the survival of certain characters, or even books that make logical sense, to be perfectly honest.  That being said, that doesn't mean that I, as a reader, don't have the right to criticize and complain about an author when they do something I don't like.  I have power as a consumer and as a fan and I always have the choice to say, I don't like this and I'm not buying it anymore.  It doesn't save me feeling cheated or anything, but not every investment is a good one.

Review: Godsgrave

Godsgrave by Jay Kristoff
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Well I didn’t see that coming. I’ve got thoughts though, which I’ll expand upon later.

Okay, so thoughts, here goes, review with spoilers:

I'll say straight off that the strength of this book lays in the narration and the narrator, unreliable as he may be. It's funny because most of the joy I get from other books comes from the characters, and identifying with the characters and what they're experiencing, thereby inserting myself into the story and having it become more of an immersive experience. I don't get that here. I don't identify with anyone (except maybe Mr. Kindly? Ha), but I have so much freaking fun reading about them that I kind of don't care. It's also one of those rare books where I don't really care who lives and who dies....which I suppose is a good thing, because there's like loads of death here. Normally I get so wrapped up in things that I'm crushed if anything happens to a favorite character (I guess the tween in me never died) but I can still entertain myself even when someone croaks (as Tric did in book 1). That's not to say that characterization here is weak, or that it's so strong in other books....it's just different, and that's good, because I think the strength of the Nevernight Chronicles is that they're different.

Anyway, I digress...

Review: Go Hex Yourself

Go Hex Yourself by Jessica Clare
My rating: 2 of 5 stars



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Review: The Witch's Heart

The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



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I Love to Hate It: The Joys of a Hate Read

 

And #1 on the Hate Read list goes to......

I'm not a glutton for punishment, I swear.  I take great pleasure from reading - it's my literal escape (see what I did there?) so it doesn't make much sense that I'd devote time to reading things I don't enjoy.  I'm an adult now, so I'm not obligated to read anything I don't want.  I DNF books on Kindle Unlimited with abandon; if I have the misfortune to purchase a physical book that just isn't doing it for me, I usually don't bother to return, but I will donate.  I am never, ever, EVER going to read the Great Gatsby again.  Ever.

Review: The Unseelie King

The Unseelie King by Kathryn Ann Kingsley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Note - I'll be reviewing the entire series here, just because I'm lazy.

I'll start out by saying that I'm not one for dark romance. I believe I've abandoned every single one I've tried within pages (that terrible JT Geissinger one, previously reviewed, immediately comes to mind). I knew this what categorized as a dark romance, but fae books are a special kind of catnip for me (I'll be the first to admit I have a pointy ear fetish - elves, fae, vulcans, whatever), so that drew me in.

After finishing all four books (plowed through the first 3, slogged through the last one) I'm not sure I would lump this in with those toxic-bf mafia crapfests I've had the misfortune to stumble upon in the past. Yes, the MMC is an asshole, yes there's dubcon, but to be perfectly frank there was a lightheartedness to this entire series that I definitely wouldn't put this in a dark romance category. I can't believe I'm saying that a book where the MMC literally chains up the FMC is lighthearted, but yeah, here I am.

Review: The Curse Workers: White Cat; Red Glove; Black Heart

The Curse Workers: White Cat; Red Glove; Black Heart by Holly Black
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is probably the first Holly Black book that I didn't fall in love with immediately. I did like it, but I didn't find it quite as engaging as the Folk of the Air (a masterpiece series), Coldest Girl in Coldtown (a standalone under-the-radar masterpiece), or even the Tithe series.

Most of what I love about Holly Black is there - great characters, clever dialogue, a crapton of bon mots. The worldbuilding here (curse workers possess various cool powers but cannot use said powers indiscriminately) wasn't as strong as in other books, but I didn't hate it. I thought the concept of blowback (basically receiving back what you put out ten folder, so if you're a death worker you can kill someone with a touch, but you'll literally lose parts of yourself as a result) was smart, I was really engaged by the whole criminal underworld/con man focus, and I thought Cassel was a delight. Actually, most of the main characters were great (I very much enjoyed Cassel and Sam's dynamic, and Cassel's family is like a smorgasbord of train-wreck entertainment).

Given all that, I'm not sure why I only rated it 3 stars; in fact, I'll be generous and bump it up to 3.5. I think if I had to pick a reason, it would be, first, I didn't like Lila (the main female character and Cassel's love interest) at all. For a gangster's daughter, she was bland, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Cassel loved her so much. She's supposed to be some tough, cool girl, but I found characters like Jude from FotA and Tana from CGiCt much grittier, which is saying something, given that Lila is a mob boss in training. Also, this was a bind-up of three separate books, so I think it just felt like kind of a slog going through all three one after the other.

That being said, I'd still recommend it because there's enough of what Holly Black is known for and what she excels at present here to make it worth the effort in reading.

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Review: The Contortionist

The Contortionist by Kathryn Ann Kingsley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I am slightly shocked that I liked this as much as I did. I'm also pleasantly surprised to see that Kathryn Ann Kingsley appears to be not only talented, but consistently talented - there is nothing worse than reading a book, loving it, and trying to devour the author's entire catalog only to discover that the one book was an outlier and that everything else sucks.

Definitely not the case here - KK is so far five-for-five in my book as far as writing engaging, funny, witty, sexy stories. And she has a definite knack for writing truly dark heroes that you can't help but love. I'm not talking about the type that seems bad at first but then somehow has an explanation for literally every bad thing they've ever done. Her heroes are bad, they know it, but somehow they can't help being soft for the FMC. There's no trying to understand it, and I'm actually kind of glad that I don't have to perform the mental gymnastics required to understand how I could actually be hot for a villain (or read a fucking chapter-long diatribe on the same). In other words, this is true dark, fantasy romance, and it's great.

I've mentioned before that I'm not normally a fan of dark romance, though I do find it more palatable when it's in a fantasy setting, and I think that's purely because I want to suspend disbelief and don't want to think about the implications of finding an actual psycho that could very well exist in the read world kind of hot. I don't want to read about another Ted Bundy. A freaky undead puppeteer that's part of a murder circus (as Cora would say)? Sign me up, I don't have to worry about running into him in an alley at night.

This is true dark romance, mind you, and while Simon is every bit as witty, intriguing, and charming as Valroy (from the author's Maze series) you'd do well to understand that he is not a good guy and doesn't try to be at all, except when it comes to his intended. In other words, you're not going to get all hot for him only have him be completely defanged later because it turns out he was working undercover the whole time and was really emo over the bad stuff he did, and can you tell I'm talking about Rhysand here?

You're safe with Simon....not literally, but you're safe in knowing that he's not going to turn out to be a wimp later on.

All things aside, the story is engaging, the setting is *chef's kiss* (freaky vintage carnival with a sort-of tarot theme! I can practically smell the popcorn). And if that doesn't have you convinced, KK is an artist in addition to being an author, so her books are often accompanied by character and setting artwork, which is such a treat. I know not all authors are artists, but I do wish more included artwork in their books (and it's really just on the flyleaf or end papers here, there's not a ton) because it really helps with the immersion, and I am American, and thus lazy, and don't like to think for myself. In all seriousness, her art is gorgeous, as is her writing, and I'm so so glad I discovered her. You will be too.

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Review: A Court of Mist and Fury

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'm surprised I never reviewed this on my first go-around two years ago. In a way I'm glad, because I apparently gave it a five star rating, and I had written some gushy review I'd be feeling pretty damn embarrassed right now.

This was the audiobook version, and that bears mentioning because I severely disliked the book narrator. I don't believe that had any impact on my downgraded rating, more that emphasized a growing dislike for Feyre and Rhys that really started in "A Court of Silver Flames." Why it started there I can only chalk up to the fact that their behavior is so egregiously bad in that book that it's hard to ignore. I apparently did ignore it my first trip through this book, but now that I look at it, it's there in spades.

ACOTAR - Full Highlights and Notes

 

Idk what anyone says, he's still the hottest high lord and I'd still let him eat me alive.

There's really no point in putting up an ACOMAF highlight notebook without doing the same for ACOTAR, because you cannot look at both independently of each other and hope to understand why 1). Tamlin is deserving of our sympathy and 2). Apparently SJM has selective memory when it comes to her own writing.

In any case, here are my notes on book 1.  Feel free to send them to any Rhys stan who insists Tamlin was always awful or that Rhys was always good.

Review: House of Sky and Breath

House of Sky and Breath by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Where do I even start with this? There are three things you need to know about this book. First, it's fucking long. Second, it didn't need to be as long as it was. Third, it's absolutely batshit crazy. 

 I was hopeful for this new, more adult series when I first read it last year, but it actually wound up being not all that different from ACOTAR, or what I read of TOG (I haven't finished that yet and I'm not sure I will). 

 Now that I mention it, there's probably a fourth thing you should know about this book - Sarah J. Maas writes the same story, over and over. The minor details might change, but the major ideas, themes, and concepts are all the exact. same. thing. Partially human girl? Check. Ridiculous amount of powers and abilities? Check. Status as chosen one/savior? Check. Hot, over-muscled, similarly over-powered SO that everyone else is really afraid of? Check. Quest to save the world that only our aforementioned heroine can complete? Check. Lots of fucking/growling/purring/roaring? Check check check check. 

 Honestly, the list could go on and on. And really, I could have forgiven sticking with a certain theme (horny fae is definitely her shtick). The fact that SJM is now not only copying her own concepts over and over again, but literally smashing all of those previously separate worlds together is where I draw the line.

I Love to Hate It: Romance Novel Tropes

 

I'm a latecomer to the romance genre, having discovered somewhat later in life than most women that I didn't hate reading "mushy" stuff.  My reticence was born mostly from shame, which is dumb, because in the grand pantheon of embarrassment, reading romance books is like the very bottom of the list.

Despite the late start, it didn't take me long to separate the bad from the good.  I'm sure I'll discuss the tropes/genres I love at some point, but I'm better at complaining than I am at opining on why I actually like something (without devolving to my prior pre-teen self), so here's a list of crap I hate:

1. Reverse Harem
• I totally understand the desire for women to want to have a bunch of <zoolander voice> really really really good-looking</zoolander voice> men fawning all over them, but I'll freely admit that I'm selfish, even if it's myself we're talking about sharing.

ACOMAF Re-Read - Complete Notes, Quotes, and Criticisms

Don’t worry, Tam Tam. I’m on your side. 

Below is the full export of all of my highlights and notes, collected during my recent critical re-read of ACOMAF.  I tried my hardest to focus only on passages that showcased either the blatant revisionary approach SJM took to Tamlin, the blatant hypocrisy exhibited by both Feyre and Rhys, or if you're really lucky, both.

As you can see the infodump is massive, which leads whether or not SJM even tried to be careful about how she was even contradicting her own work.  My gut tells me that, much like Feyre, she's often enamored of her own cleverness, and thinks she was probably being like super-smart about dismantling every single thing Rhys did wrong in book one (to make it be right) and every good thing Tamlin ever did (to make it be wrong).  I can literally see the bullet-point list in my imagination, and her ticking off items one by one, cackling in glee. 

What she, and the less mentally independent readers out there, see as cleverness, I just see as laziness, because for all of her very thorough efforts to showcase Rhys as the good guy all along, she appears to have completely ignored the fact that she's created the two most blatantly oblivious characters in the history of YA/NA Fantasy Romance, neither of which have any awareness of the fact that they are actually not the heroes they think they are, but are instead sanctimonious, condescending Mary-Sues.  I’ve found that taking that perspective makes re-reads much more bearable, because I’m sure Feyre and Rhys will never get their comeuppance, and certainly not in the way Tamlin has. 

Excuses, Excuses (ACOMAF Re-read)

A victim of his creator

 

Chapter 55 is probably the most well-known chapter in the entire series.  I'm not going to go in to why, but while I will say that what I found kinda hot 3 years ago, I can barely stomach listening to/reading now.

So while chapter 55 is infamous, I think Chapter 54 might actually be the most important one in the entire series, certainly the first two books.  Tamlin's retcon had been slowly building since page one of ACOMAF, it's Chapter 54 that really buries him.

It's basically a pages long explanation of why Rhys isn't anything like what we knew of him in book one, setting up the smut to come in the next chapter (because how could our heroine ever fuck a guys that isn't perfect).

Long story short, he knew of Feyre before she ever came to Prythian, he loved her from the first, and every last thing Rhys ever did was done with the express purpose of being near her, or being with her, or whatever.  I forget.  My brain got addled from all the eye-rolling.

It's obviously supposed to be some grand, romantic thing (it's destiny! it's fate!), but it also reveals what a lot of the fandom already suspects about him - that he's a manipulative, self-centered....prick.

SJM methodically tries to tie up every loose end imaginable with regard to Rhys's true character, but I am still left with so many unanswered questions.

Review: A Court of Silver Flames

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Ah. It’s so good to be back in the Fae lands of Sarah J. Maas, where all the males are beautiful, ripped, and roar when they come, all the females are beautiful and delicate-yet-strong, all characters are over-powered to the point of it being ludicrous, and nothing bad ever happens, at least to those in our sacred Inner Circle. Oh, and I almost forgot the copious amounts of fucking. Lots and lots and lots of fucking. Fucking and fucking and fucking.

It’s formulaic as shit, predictable and trite, and I looooove it.

There’s nothing earth-shattering about this latest addition, and it goes much the same way pretty much all of SJM’s books go. I think people have been clamoring for the story of Nesta and Cassian for a long time, and now that it’s finally here, it winds up being......a lot like the story of Feyre and Rhys. Broken girl mends herself through the love of a good man, and exhibits yet more world-shattering power and saves her friends from certain death through the power of love and family and togetherness. Blah blah blah.

Book Boyfriends

 I've been an avid reader for as long as I can remember.  My earliest memories of reading were of me working my way through a tiny book on the Smurfs when I was a kid.  My earliest memory of buying books was begging my Dad to let me get a box set of Sweet Valley High Books at a Barnes and Noble.  All throughout grade school I remember looking forward to the Scholastic Book Sales and those newsprint flyers where we'd get to circle whatever we wanted and it would be delivered to your classroom weeks later (those days always felt like Christmas).

What I'm trying to emphasize is that books have played such an important role in my life for a long time....the better part of my years, long enough for me to not really be able to remember a time where I didn't have a book in my hands.  They're a crutch for me, a way to lose myself, a way to find myself, who I thought I could be, and who I wished I was.  I remember important events in my life and the books I was reading at the time - struggling while I adjusted to a new school in a new state (Interview with the Vampire); sleeping on my grandma's couch after my parents split and we didn't have a home for almost a year (Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone); sitting at my father's bedside after he suffered a stroke, waiting for him to wake up and realize who I was again. (A Court of Silver Flames).  He didn't, by the way.  He passed away on March 8th, 2021, and I'll never forget the book I stopped reading when he first suffered that stroke and I visited him in the hospital every single day for a month and reading just didn't seem that important anymore (Wolf Gone Wild, and it was crap).

I keep a little bit of all of those books with me, even the bad ones, and I consider the characters in my favorites my friends, and people I like to visit with again, every now and then.

So now that you have a little bit of an idea as to just how big a role books have played in my life, I thought it would be interesting to not just go through a list of favorite books and characters, but my favorite book boyfriends (or husbands, as it were).  I'm not ashamed to admit that I tend towards self-inserting when I read books (part of that whole imaginary life and exploring unseen worlds and living vicariously thing with them), so I like to read stories about characters that are either like me, characters that I'd like to be with, or maybe both.  Without further ado, my top book boyfriends:

My name is Danielle, and I am a Tamlin Apologist (an ACOTAR re-read)

 Admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery, right?

I will not feel bad for loving you Tamlin, and not just because you're super hot.

Problem is, I don't really hate Tamlin, not like I'm apparently supposed to, and certainly like I felt like I should (and sort of did) after witnessing his total 180 (or retcon, tomato tomahto) in ACOMAF.  I changed my tune pretty quickly though when 1). I saw what a bleating, whiny, overpowered cunt Feyre became as you progressed through the series, and 2). I couldn't help but feel bad the more everyone in the vaunted inner circle started shitting on him, and not only shitting on him, but like actually enjoying shitting on him.

The issue that really rubs me the wrong way is sort of twofold:

1. I did NOT appreciate the deepfake SJM pulled with the love interests.  At that point I had very much already decided that Tamlin was my new book boyfriend, because the whole Beauty and the Beast thing is sort of my catnip.
2. The more I thought about, and the more I payed attention to Tamlin's behavior (from Under the Mountain through ACOMAF), the more I saw that he was hurting just as badly as Feyre, but dealing with it in a wholly different way.

So in any case, this is my first "re-read" of the series since I originally read them way back in 2019 I think?  Re-read in quotes because I'm listening on audiobook on my daily commute.  I've been listening specifically for hints that SJM may have dropped as to Tamlin's "true nature", and outside of several mentions of his temper, I'm not really seeing anything.  I'm juxtaposing this with Feyre's first meeting with Rhys (mostly because I literally just listened to that this morning so it's fresh in my mind) and I can see now that there was something, an attraction at least, even then.  I don't think, given even this small scene at this point, that SJM just suddenly decided to make Rhys the hero and Tamlin the bad guy in book 2; I think she was planning on Rhys stepping into that role all along, and it's fairly obvious that she was laying that groundwork.  What she did a shitty, lazy job on (at least from a reader's perspective at this point, as technically the series is still unfinished and Tamlin's ultimate fate still malleable) was explaining away Tamlin's behavior in book 2 as "well he's just an asshole" instead of "he's a guy dealing with some serious shit and doing a really bad job of it and goddammit someone please help him).  Feyre is our heroine, so presumably we're supposed to agree with her most of the time and find her motivations believable, and if we're supposed to believe that she really loves Tamlin because he is actually a really decent guy underneath that gruff, beastly exterior (just like the Disney cartoon).

Building off that, if you ask me, thus far all I know of Tamlin (I'm just past Calanmai) is that he had a shitty childhood, absolutely zero familial support, and nobody paid enough attention to him to even tell him that maybe acting like a wild animal most of the time isn't so good?  So basically it's kind of all he knows; this fits in with the whole "beast" aspect of his story.  We've also seen enough at this point (his thoughtfulness with encouraging Feyre's painting, the way he cared for the wingless fairy, etc) to see that there is a much gentler aspect to his personality, underneath the exterior gruffness (much like the eventual redemption of the beast).  

There are definitely shadows of his eventual overprotectiveness, especially with him telling Feyre to lock herself in her room at Calanmai, but still, he's telling her, not forcing her as he does in the next book.  I guess some would say that even something like that is unforgiveable, but I can't fault a guy for being overprotective, especially when she decides to leave anyway and almost gets sexually assaulted by those fairies.  He also knew what the magic of this night did to him, and I'm guessing didn't want to risk hurting her.  Of course, he could have just told her about this.  It's not like there's really any point in protecting her delicate human sensibilities given that she's in Prythian for life at this stage.  I always assumed (I forget at this point if/when it's stated outright) that Tam never explains the whole curse/mask/blight thing in detail because the curse itself doesn't actually allow him to, but there's no reason that he can't talk in detail about stuff like this.  Was he embarrassed?  Did he not want to risk offending Feyre (and thus ruining his courtship of her and his chance to break the curse) or does he just not think to talk to her about stuff like this.  I think ACOMAF Tam leads the reader to believe that he's just a secretive misogynistic asshole that doesn't want to trouble Feyre's delicate female brain with the complexities of Calanmai, but I counter that with the fact that he's revealed plenty of his past and life at this point that someone who was otherwise a secretive asshole probably wouldn't have done.  

Oh, he's just being a manipulative asshole who's trying to woo Feyre for his own benefit (getting that mask off his face), you say?  To that I counter with that at this stage in the story he quite obviously cares for his people - he says it plenty, and demonstrates it with his care in tending his borders and particularly with the way he cared for that blue fairy.  I know all of this can be interpreted as him really laying it on thick so Feyre falls for him, but if he was really concerned about that I don't think he would have slipped the way he did the night of Calanmai.

At this point in the story, other than be gruff and standoffish at times, Tamlin hasn't yet done anything really objectionable.  You CANNOT count the Calanmai bite/fairy hickey because first, he warned her and fey have already been portrayed as animalistic on some level, and second, she admitted to herself that she did enjoy it more than a little bit.

I'm really looking forward to revisiting the Under the Mountain stuff to look for things I might have missed the first time or forgotten.

Lastly, That’s not to say that I think his behavior is acceptable or that it can be explained away like Rhys’s, rather that he’s not some mindlessly cruel beast, and that while he has issues and definitely needs help, A) so does Rhys and B) he meant well in his own way. The wrong thing done for the right reasons is still the wrong thing, you know? 

I am determined to not feel guilty for my Tamlin love and my exceedingly strong desire for a redemption arc and happy ending for him. I mean if Rhys can be a total fucking’ creeper and still find true love surely Tam can too. 

A Court of Hypocrites and Assholes (ACOMAF Re-Read, Chapters 25-31)

 

He looks so angry because he's smelling Feyre's bullshit.  She might think it doesn't stink, but it does.

I was not going to post another re-cap so soon, but the some of the shit said in these past few had me so boiling mad that I needed to unload or I'd wind up destroying my study like big, bad Tamlin.

To be honest, I'm not sure how the hell this went down so smoothly the first time I read it - maybe I just didn't care, and maybe I was distracted by Rhys and his pseudo-flirtatious creepiness (only acceptable from guys that are hot, fyi).  

I'm rarely extra critical of books on a first pass, especially ones that rely heavily on world building and mythology, mostly because I'm too busy trying to follow the story and the details.  Feyre is really fucking unlikeable though - she's self-absorbed, selfish, arrogant, and completely lacking in any sort of self-awareness.  Rhys, as most of us are aware, is a manipulative asshole.  I actually think Feyre mentions that he's a manipulative prick on multiple occasions, but again, he's hot and rich, and oh-so-powerful, so she'll accept it.  

Feyre should win first place in the Darwin awards - I mean that not in the sense that the Darwin Award books do, but rather that she'll align herself with whoever the most powerful guy in the room is, all because it makes her feel more powerful and more likely to survive.  She obviously gets off on power, and you can practically see her preening every time Rhys (the most powerful high lord in history, don't forget) throws himself at her, or literally kneels before her.  Feyre might like to think she's Ms. Independent, but she already starting to base her own self-worth off of those that are around her; like, this guy is so hot and he's into me, thus I am equally hot.  Not to mention we haven't even really gotten to the parts where Rhys starts kissing her ass with every other breath.  I said it before but I'll say it again.  Feyre 2.0 got an upgraded life, upgraded body, upgraded powers, and suddenly Tamlin (still mired in his own bullshit and depressed and angry as all hell) didn't cut it anymore.

In short, these last few chapters, while really only the beginning of the saga of Rhys and Feyre, have provided scads of evidence that the entire IC is a bunch of hypocritical, selfish assholes whose favorite pastime isn't so much dancing at Rita's as it is projecting their own shortcoming and faults on to others.

Feyre is already wearing her Rhys-colored glasses (ACOMAF re-read - Chapters 15-24)

Poor poor Tamlin.

It really is interesting how you remember things completely differently than you think you do sometimes. I came in to this re-read fully expecting to find gobs of evidence re: how Tamlin really is the crazy ex-boyfriend we're obviously supposed to believe he is, but it's just not there. And technically speaking I'm not even to the really good stuff yet (Feyre's return to the Spring Court and the High Lord meeting).


Instead what I'm finding is a very pointed deconstruction of Tamlin as a decent character and the object of Feyre's affection. Like I can practically picture SJM sitting there with a white board and a pointer indicating one by one every reason why Rhys is the paragon of male perfection all men should aspire to and all women should want. Therefore, I'm making it my goal in life to construct my very own chart, as it were, to show how her own text, and her own words even, are running completely contrary to what she so obviously wants us to believe (Tamlin Bad, Rhys good).


Also, at this point you really start to see that Feyre is really good at coming to realizations about things concerning Tamlin and doing absolutely nothing about it, which makes what she does later on especially shitty.


And obviously I say all of the above knowing full well that this is SJM's creation, and she has the final word on it all, but my dissection of her text has less to do with proving a creator wrong about their own creation and everything to do with saying she did a crap job explaining it all away.


At this point in the story we're still not sure that Feyre is never going back to the Spring Court or how she feels about Tamlin. Knowing what we do know, however, makes a lot of her thoughts and words take on a whole new perspective. I think the biggest thing we learn about Feyre at this point is that she's attracted to power, she might say how she doesn't want to be coddled or protected or that she can do it herself, but it's obvious she gets her rocks off from seeing overly powerful men quite literally kneel before her.


Maybe that's what Tamlin's problem was; he was good and powerful enough for frail, mortal Feyre, but high fae Feyre needs someone even better (so naturally she's go for the most powerful high lord in a century....can't wait til we start hearing that every other fucking sentence). I mean for fuck's sake, Rhys puts her in a fucking crown before going to see her family (in the goddamn house they wouldn't even have if it wasn't for Tamlin, tyvm), and she doesn't even spare a thought for who the hell is she to have this dude putting her in a goddamn crown.


Sidenote: I've found that since Kindle and Audible integration make it so easy, it would be better to post my notes and highlights direct from the book here, so that way it's not just word vomit and musings here - I'm backing up with cold, hard quotes.

Where nothing is what you think it is (ACOMAF Re-read, Chapters 1-15)

 

Ianthe and Tamlin

I wonder how many people started ACOMAF after ACOTAR and were like "wtf is going on?"  Literally nobody behaves the way they did in book 1.  Feyre becomes a meek doormat, Tamlin goes full tin foil hat, and Rhys is suddenly nice.

Speaking of our boy Tam - he's not doing me any favors in this book when it comes to trying to prove he's not really a douche.  A cursory surface read just shows him as a possessive overprotective asshat, but I really don't think it's coming from a mean place.  He's obviously taken his role as protector to a completely inappropriate place.  That's really the main sticking point for me with how the fandom reacts to Tam (and the whole Tamlin the Tool) thing - like he's not doing this to be an asshole.  He's not right, and he doesn't listen to Feyre when she expresses how he's smothering her, but it is coming from a place of love.  

Love can get obsessive.  Love can hurt.  And oftentimes you really can't hurt or be hurt by someone unless you love them (otherwise why would it bother you?).  I think when you get down to it, the way he tries to protect Feyre, the way he obsesses over protecting her (homeboy freaks out and spends hours as a beast just to feel like he can protect her better), is just sad.  It's like Feyre is the only thing that matters in his life so she must be kept safe at all costs.  It's pathetic and sad that he's so lonely that he literally feels like he'll have nothing left if anything happens to her.  I've kind of felt like that at some points in my life - it's like that obsessive feeling you get with a new relationship, when all you can think of is that person - and to be dumped before that can wear off (it always wears off) is like having a limb cut off.

Joe Biden is not responsible for rising gas prices, you uninformed Republican Idiots, so save your Let's Go Brandon stickers.

My Spirit Animal

Read This, Please 

Then read this

Then this

Might as well read this one too

And cap it off with this one

Bottom line, the reason gas prices are so high right now are twofold - first and foremost, despite producing more than enough oil in this country, we rely on foreign sources because the dirtbag oil barons (a few of which were part of Trump's actual fucking cabinet and making actual fucking decisions that affect actual fucking American citizens) would rather send the homegrown stuff overseas so they can make more money.  If we kept it here, we'd be able to pay less for it, if these fuckers didn't just want to hike the prices up every time they needed to buy a new yacht.  Second, since we're reliant on foreign sources of oil, you can bet your ass that what's going on in Ukraine and other parts of the world are going to effect what we're paying.  

So indirectly, yeah, Biden is responsible for rising gas prices when we ban Russian oil, but only because it's one of the many ways he's trying to stop the insane dictator (aka Trump's best bud and Jesus figure) without having to resort to actual warfare, which if you think that won't turn nuclear quickly, then I pity your naiveté.  He also recently released some of our domestic reserves to keep prices down, so yeah, blame him for that too.

However, if greedy ass Republican oil barons didn't insist on hording their wealth like Smaug, we might have a cheaper alternative.

So fuck you to every asshole that thinks they're fighting the man by putting stupid stickers on gas pumps.  

Happily Ever After...for now (an ACOTAR re-read)

Some day your prince(ss) will come, Tam.

 

So I finally made it to the end.  There are a couple of big points that I wanted to note (thank the Cauldron for Audible's bookmark feature.  FYI the OCD part of me is probably going to go back and mark everything in my Kindle that I missed first go around, because I'm insane):

Hindsight is 20/20 (an ACOTAR re-read Chapters 27-36)

 This book is doing nothing to convince me that Tamlin really was a shit from the jump, as so many who jumped to Team Rhys would like one to believe.

Don't get me wrong, the breadcrumbs are definitely there if you look/listen for them, but really all I'm learning on this go-around is that it seems like Tam really never had a chance at all.  I learned that quite a bit with the exposition on Tam's past from Alys.  

He was raised by a shitty father who encouraged his violence and shit on his fiddle playing dreams, had shittier brothers who wanted to murder him for having the genetic misfortune to be stronger than them, and still he found it in him to be the best man he could.  He was by all accounts a good, even somewhat progressive high lord.  He put effort in to being as different as he could from him.  

Feyre certainly loved him to do what she did, and Tamlin obviously loved her, because he wouldn't have taken such a turn as he did if she meant nothing to him.  Despite being arrogant (and I think all high fae are to some degree), he's not unwilling to debase himself and literally beg Rhys to not tell Amarantha about Feyre, despite his history with Rhys, which would you lead you to believe that a guy like Tamlin (and certainly a guy like he eventually becomes) would be totally unwilling to do.

Tamlin didn't keep secrets from Feyre at this point except where he required to according to the magic of the curse.

So I'm not really seeing, outside of his temper, all the signs of him always being the controlling misogynist he becomes in the rest of the series.

Rather he seems like a guy that's been trying for a long time and not getting anywhere, has some level of low self esteem (to give up and think that nobody could actually love him enough to break the curse and to still be willing to tell that person, a human, that he loves her), and is just tired and wants to give up.  

I've seen a lot of people point out the fact that Rhys was strong enough to keep going, even after fifty years of abuse, and Tam just gave up.  So yeah, he gave up 🤷🤷🤷.  He shut down, as is evidenced time and time again under the mountain.  So what? Not all of us are strong enough to keep fighting; I don't think that means that he never really loved Feyre or really appreciated her enough to fight for her.  He's a different guy, so he deals with things differently than someone like Rhys.  

He did send her away to keep her safe, even though he had three days left in which Feyre could very well have said the words that would have freed them all. So yeah, he might have essentially sacrificed his court to protect just Feyre, but Rhys does no better later on.  I'd posit that Tamlin just loves differently than Rhys, and eventually not in the way Feyre needs, but certainly not any less in his mind.

Is one really better than the other?

Review: From Lukov with Love

From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is my first Mariana Zapata, but I went into it with 100% knowledge of her shtick (sloooooooow burn, no sex til the literal last minute, etc). I'm not sure if that's what left me feeling completely underwhelmed by this.

The story was certainly good enough, the banter was great, but I didn't see any real reason for it to be even half as long as it wound up being. I do love a good slow burn, but for me, the real tension of that, despite the constant bickering between Jasmine and Ivan, didn't lend any real credence to their eventual coming together. You expect it to be like a literal dam breaking after five hundred pages and this was kind of like.......a minor but annoying drip from your kitchen faucet? I don't know. There was just no real payoff, and I am thinking that's because I was never fully invested in their relationship.

Ivan was sweet, and it was obvious early on that he wasn't who Jasmine thought he was, but then again, he wasn't really that bad to begin with? It was very much a high-school (or grade-school, even) tit-for-tat relationship between them, and that was a bit odd given that they are in their early thirties/late twenties, respectively. That's not to say that they're "too old" to act a certain way (you're never too old to act however you want, IMO), but it was just so petty (you're ugly, you're dumb, blah blah blah) that it never really felt like they actually hated each other, and certainly didn't hate each other enough to justify five hundred pages of back and forth for one page of mediocre sex. They'd already seen each other naked at that point, so outside of a few "oh fuck, ugh...." there was nothing to shake a vibrator at there. This scene was like a two-pump-chump in book form.

Eh....I guess I'm having a hard time putting my feelings into words on this because I don't really have any feelings on it to begin with. It was just so meh. Competently written, sure, in spite of all the typos and garbled speech, and some of the insults were truly choice, but all in all I found myself more bored than engrossed, and the only reason I read it so fast was so I could move on to something that gave me the tingles, a la "The Hating Game" or "The Folk of the Air" books.

So, first Mariana Zapata, and most likely last, because though I spend an inordinate amount of time torturing myself over nothing, even I'm not enough of a sadist to continually read books that are overly long and don't even give you anything to look forward to at the end.

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Review: Aurora's End

Aurora's End by Amie Kaufman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The last books in trilogies are double-edged swords - I'm waiting for them with baited breath at the same time that I'm dreading the end of something I love.

And I did love this. Sure, the ending wound up being treacly as shit (love is the answer?) but all that stuff with Auri and her Dad got me right in the feels. I lost my father earlier this year, and if he was still here I'm not sure it would have hit me as hard as it did. As it is, all I could keep thinking about was all the things I never said to him, all the things I did say and regretted, and just watching Aurora come to terms with the same thing just hit home.

That really has nothing to do with the story itself, it was just personally poignant, so it brings a new dimension of enjoyment, outside of the surface stuff.

That said, the story is great. I can really appreciate authors who have a definite, overarching vision that have the control and the talent to plot it out over three full books. It's impressive, and I'm impressed that they pulled it off the way they did. Normally I hate a time-travel trope because all too often it winds up just feeling lazy and venturing into revisionist territory (a la HP and the Cursed Child) but it doesn't feel entirely cheap here, mostly because the strength of the characters and the squad transcend it.

The squad is the real gem, of course, and the literal glue that holds the story together. I've often referred to this series as Six of Crows, but in space, and I'll die on that hill.

Good Stuff:
- Zila's growth. She was almost a non-entity and book 1, and to see her literally come full circle like this was really fulfilling.
- Fin - Never change, baby. I restarted the series on audibook right after finishing this and I just love his perspective. He's entertaining and heartbreaking in the same breath.

Meh Stuff:
- I can't believe I'm saying this about a book Jay Kristoff is at least partially responsible for, but with stakes as high as this, I feel like more people should have died? I feel like it would have been braver to have Auri actually have to give up her life, and instead she kind of pulled a Harry Potter. Not that I wasn't entertained and interested, but I felt like the more intriguing choice would have been to have her die and see how Kal handles it after, given the whole Be'shmai thing. It's almost like happy endings are a given, and that sort of takes the excitement out of it when you know it's gonna end up okay despite all the suffering in the moment.
- Love was the answer? Reeeallllllllllly? Okay, I cried, because I'm weak and a total sap, but why is love always the answer??
- Why why why do we have to neatly pair up everybody at the end of the book/movie/show? It is okay to be alone, you know.

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Review: Death

Death by Laura Thalassa
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

There's a reason I mainly stick to Goodreads when it comes to reviews and I keep my mouth shut on Reddit and/or Facebook groups - it's because I don't want to post a negative opinion of a book and be accused of book shaming. They're NOT the same thing, but humans, in their infinite wisdom and sensitivity, often conflate the two, because god forbid someone not like something and actually say so.

I did not like this book. I did not think it was a good book. I did not like any of the books in this series and in fact did not think any of them were good. That does not mean I think Laura Thalassa is a horrible person or that anyone who likes these books is horrible.

Now that that's out of the way....Yah, I really hated this book. I hated this series. I do not think my hate would be nearly at the level it is if I didn't enjoy Laura Thalassa's Bargainer series as much as I did (it's phenomenal, and a much more satisfying depiction of a dark Fae romance...and Desmond beats Rhys and his pseudo-feminism any day of the week) I wouldn't have been so disappointed in this book and the series as a whole.

Where the Bargainer series was engaging, with well fleshed out characters, and engaging relationships and plots, the Four Horseman is like all concept and idea and literally nothing else. Nothing. The characters are boring. The relationships are boring. The plot is boring, and who ever thought the apocalypse would be boring? I mean, the world is ending, and there's so much you can do with that, but I'm supposed to care only about these two shmucks that barely know each other yet somehow are sooooo in love?

Death was 519 pages (!!!) and nothing happened. Nothing. They meet, people die, they kill each other a few times, there's a random kidnapping by some random desert bandits that lasts maybe two paragraphs before resolution, she finds a baby, and then there's the requisite end-of-series fight, and that's kind of it.

Oh yeah, and there's lots of sex, which normally I enjoy (and which in the Bargainer series was top-shelf) but here it's just like lots of talk about her sore pussy because THEY BANG SO MUCH. And oh yeah, lots of cheese plates prepared by magical skeleton servants. I shit you not.

The strongest, most cogent thought I have about this series, the one overarching opinion I have on the whole thing, is that it's an amazing concept poorly executed. It pains me so much to say this, but I got the very strong impression that Thalassa was so damned determined to write this series (because let's be honest, the concept is fucking cool) but she never thought too much about what she actually wanted to happen. It's just fluff (cheese plates!) and fucking, and not much else. I'm not book shaming when I say that I feel like this series was just lazily written, because it's true.

I am glad that this book is over. I think I deserve an award for finishing it. These 519 pages were a longer slog than the half-marathon I ran that time. I am glad that this series is over (so I don't feel obligated to read any others), and despite how much I disliked it, I am still looking forward to reading the rest of Thalassa's past (and future) catalog, because with a gem like the Bargainer under her belt, I know it can't be all bad.

I would not recommend this book, unless a story of a mindless journey punctuated by random bouts of sex is your thang. And if it is, no shame, and you do you, and I'm so happy you enjoyed it because feeling like you wasted your time on something is never a fun feeling.

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Review: It Ends in Fire

It Ends in Fire by Andrew Shvarts
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I think forgetting that you actually started something is just as good a reason as any to not actually finish it.

I had super-high hopes for this, because the concept not only seemed freaking cool, but the cover art was bomb (I knooooow don't judge me) and I'm a huge Choices app fan, which this author also writes for.

The major turn-off for this book was that it seemed more concerned with being a massive middle finger to JK Rowling and her terfism than it did with actually being an interesting and engaging story. And honestly, following Andrew Shvarts's Twitter feed, especially in the immediate aftermath of JKR's grand coming out as anti-trans, it's obvious that he was gunning for her and really wanting to stick it to her big time. Not saying it's not justified, but if you're gonna come for somebody, best come prepared with your big guns. This book is not a big gun. It's a slingshot. With a teeny tiny pebble in it.

Lest you think I'm being petty, it's conversations like the one in Chapter 5 where Alka's sexual preferences are trotted out with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer through balsa wood that make it uncomfortably obvious. I have no issues with bisexuality or homosexuality in books (I grew up reading and loving Anne Rice, ffs, though when I'm reading romance I prefer strictly the cis/hetero variety since I'm a self-inserter), but knowing that JKR caught major heat for revealing Dumbledore's secret homosexuality after the fact, and otherwise not having any overtly non-cis/hetero relationships in the series, I could practically see the gears turning in the author's head that boy oh boy, is he gonna show JKR how it's done in the 21st century. It just came off as so juvenile.

Say what you want about JKR, her terfism (I'm still not able to reconcile it with the fact that she is otherwise so publicly supportive of minority causes), her obvious homophobic tendencies (because unless you put it up on a billboard, tweet it for the world to see, or publish it in size 42 font, it's a total lie and you're pandering), but she can write, she can construct plot, and drive narrative like it is literally nobody's business. I could sit here and say til I'm blue in the face that Dumbledore's sexuality was not central to the story so why bother mentioning it (but once you find out it's so interesting to see all the other mentions of history and past click into place, which makes it obvious that, yes, she wrote him as gay the entire time), but I'd be wasting my breath, to be frank. I'm not defending her, mind you, because that does need to be mentioned, but there is a definite trend of people being unwilling to see in anything other than black and white so it's not really worth explaining.

I guess what I'm really trying to get at is that if you're going to set out to write a wizard school opus that is more inclusive and open and modern and in obvious answer to she-who-will-no-longer-be-named, then please write something better than this. Overall I found it boring, derivative, and painfully unnuanced. JKR might be a terf, but she's a terf that knows how to write and craft an engaging story. I wasn't a fan of the Simon Snow stuff, but I can acknowledge that it did things the right way (i.e. Simon was just Simon who loved Baz and not SIMON WHO IS VERY OBVIOUSLY AND OPENLY GAY).

There's better stuff out there if you're looking for something inclusive with a magical bent.

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Review: Second First Impressions

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

So so so good. I might cry over it. No wait, I am crying over it. Full thoughts later, when I’m not crying.

------------------

So, I just finished a "re-read" over audiobook, and yeah I cried again. I'm a sadist I think, and I punish myself by obsessing over books like this. I identify with them so strongly, and it's painful to rehash old feelings while at the same time comforting knowing you're not alone.

For me, there are two sides to the "I love reading" coin - I live to lose myself in books, but I know I live to find myself in them too. It might seem counterintuitive to want to essentially re-hash painful experiences and memories via books, but they've always given me hope, thanks to the gift of the HEA (at least with regards to romance). They give me hope, and they give me perspective, because it's a lot easier to examine your feelings through the lens of someone else's life as opposed to confronting your own bullshit head on.

I had a life a lot like Ruthie's - lonely, conservative, crushed under the weight of ideas ground into me from outside forces (mostly family). I was painfully shy, down on myself, terrified of change and seeking solace in the familiar. I was physically incapable of branching out beyond my comfort zone but desperate to know what it was like to do so. I distinctly remember times in my past when guys showed interest in me, but my low self-esteem and fear of the unfamiliar never allowed me to believe it could be sincere or possible. I kick myself now wondering what my life would have been like if I'd only had the courage to take those steps on my own, or to just allow myself to believe that I was worthy of someone else's attention. I know any number of self-help books will tell you not to depend on validation from outside sources and to love yourself first, but I think it's counterintuitive to human nature, at least for those that prefer romantic and/or physical/sexual relationships with other people. It's okay to want someone else to tell you you're beautiful, but what is bad is allowing your entire sense of self-worth depend on that.

What would I have done then if a guy like Teddy fell into my lap? Probably exactly what Ruthie did - look forward to being around him while at the same time pushing him away because why would anyone see plain old me as anything other than an acquaintance? I'd set myself up for failure, I'd take compliments as jokes, and I'd repeatedly convince myself that his interest belied some sort of nefarious ulterior motive. Ultimately I'd have missed out on someone wonderful. I read this book and wondered how many wonderful people I actually did miss out on, just because I hated myself so thoroughly that I never believed anyone could ever care about me in that way. The more stereotypically good-looking someone was (like Teddy) the worse it was, because there was literally no way my brain could ever convince myself that someone like that could stand to look beyond my (not-up-to-societal-beauty-norms) physical appearance to see all the non-obvious qualities about myself that I actually did know were worth appreciating. I never let anyone get close enough to really know and appreciate me as a result.

I didn't really have a Melanie to push me out there and do the whole makeover thing, but I did have people whispering positive reinforcement in my ears (after some accidental weight loss) that I made an effort to change myself and put myself out there. I met people, sure, but it was a façade, a lot like Melanie's re-imagining of Ruthie would have been, because they still weren't really seeing who I felt like I was on the inside. They were seeing what I was being told I had to present to the world in order to be worthy of someone's attention. How many Teddys did I have in my life without even knowing it? How many people saw me as sublime, exactly as I was, without realizing it? I cry thinking about it. I cry thinking about all of those missed opportunities, and I cry for the years I spent convincing myself I was unworthy or that I had to change in order to be worthy of being loved. It's time I will NEVER get back, and it hurts to be reminded of it.

So while Melanie was well-intentioned, ultimately her "Method" did more harm to Ruthie than good, and I was so put off by her constant reminders to Ruthie that Teddy wasn't her type, and that Ruthie needed someone like her. She was essentially my inner voice, and Ruthie's inner voice, personified, because how could someone so vibrant ever be sincerely interested in someone so bland? It's a crappy thing to do to someone you'd consider a friend, and I hope in imaginary book land, Melanie took that out of her Sasaki Method manuscript before sending it to publishers. She did good in convincing Ruthie to value herself more, to learn to take compliments, but she failed in telling her that she needed to look a certain way in order to do so. Stuff like that permanently damages a person, and not everyone in real life has a Teddy available to give themselves an HEA.

(I want to make an aside here to say that, outside of some mentions of Ruthie's rack, there's very little mention of what she really looks like or what her body type is. Romance writers are overly guilty of "She's All That" levels of making FMC's atypically attractive. There's nothing I hate more than a character we're supposed to believe is a Plain Jane type mentioning her own "flat stomach" or "tiny waist", especially when it's in her own voice. It's a subtle knife in the back of the reading populace, and I've felt it twisting in my own, telling me that while I can identify with this character on some level, I can't get tooooo close; in essence, while I might find an always physically perfect man to love me in spite of my personality quirks or the fact that I dress like an 80-year old woman, I still better have the proportions of a Barbie doll if I want to be worthy of his attention. As much as my cynical ass still tries to convince myself it can never happen, I'm so glad Sally Thorne didn't do that and left it up to the reader, because you really do get the sense that Teddy loves her as a whole, and conversely it allows reader like myself who like to self-insert to believe that it can really happen to you, which is ultimately what I think the goal of every romance book ever written is.)

So in summary, I love this book in spite of its ability to cause me to relive negative experiences, not because it tells me that I will eventually find my very own Prince Charming (I'm married now, fyi, and he's nothing like Teddy) but because it reassures me even today that maybe other people do see in me what I'm incapable (even after all this time) of seeing in myself. It helps when I try to beat myself up for missing a workout, wearing the jeans instead of the dress, bemoan my flabby stomach, or want to have a no makeup day. That right there is the power of books, and the power of this book in particular, and I'm eternally grateful to Sally Thorne for going there.

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